WHY MANY MARRIAGES FAIL AND END IN DIVORCE; RECOMMENDATIONS FOR LASTING MARRIAGES
Sylvanus Maria Mgbechukwu, Author, Activist, Freelance Writer, is the founder of Brain Ability Development Initiative, a forum committed to assisting people, especially the youths, by enlightening, inspiring, mentoring, awakening and helping them to discover, harness and exploit their talents to maximize their potentials.
Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman, symbolizing love, commitment, and partnership.
However, despite the vows exchanged on wedding days, many marriages ultimately end in divorce, signaling the dissolution of this once-promising union.
Divorce, the legal termination of a marriage, has become increasingly prevalent in modern society, prompting the need to understand the underlying reasons for its occurrence.
This piece is aimed at looking at the myriad factors contributing to the failure of marriages and the subsequent decision to divorce, shedding light on the complex dynamics that can strain even the strongest of marital bonds, and make recommendations for lasting unions.
The following factors has been implicated the failure of marriages:
1. Lack of Communication
Effective communication serves as the foundation of a healthy and thriving marriage.
It involves not only expressing one’s thoughts and feelings but also actively listening to and understanding one’s partner.
Unfortunately, many marriages falter due to a breakdown in communication, characterized by miscommunication, misunderstandings, and unexpressed needs.
Couples may struggle to communicate openly and honestly, leading to resentment, frustration, and a sense of disconnect.
Without effective communication, conflicts escalate, intimacy wanes, and marital satisfaction diminishes, ultimately eroding the foundation of the relationship.
2. Financial Issues
Financial stressors are a common source of tension and conflict in marriages.
Differences in financial priorities, spending habits, and income levels can strain relationships and create discord between partners.
Financial instability, such as debt, unemployment, or inadequate savings, exacerbates marital stress and insecurity, leading to feelings of resentment and distrust.
Moreover, financial disagreements often spill over into other areas of the relationship, intensifying conflicts and undermining marital harmony.
Without proper financial management and communication, couples may find themselves overwhelmed by financial pressures, ultimately contributing to the breakdown of their marriage.
3. Infidelity
Infidelity, the betrayal of trust through romantic or sexual involvement with someone outside the marriage, is a devastating blow to any relationship. Despite its destructive consequences, infidelity remains a prevalent issue in many marriages, driven by various factors such as dissatisfaction, temptation, and opportunity.
Infidelity shatters the foundation of trust upon which marriages are built, causing profound emotional pain, anger, and resentment.
Even if couples attempt to reconcile after infidelity, rebuilding trust and repairing the damaged relationship can be an uphill battle, often leading to the eventual demise of the marriage.
4. Mismatched Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can set couples up for disappointment and disillusionment in marriage.
Media portrayals of romantic love and societal pressures to find “the one” perpetuate idealized notions of marriage, leading individuals to harbor unrealistic expectations about their partner and relationship.
When reality fails to meet these lofty expectations, couples may feel disillusioned, resentful, or unfulfilled in their marriage.
Mismatched expectations regarding roles, responsibilities, and lifestyle choices can strain relationships and create conflict, ultimately contributing to marital dissatisfaction and, in some cases, divorce.
5. Lack of Intimacy and Connection
Intimacy, both emotional and physical, is a cornerstone of a fulfilling marriage.
However, many couples struggle to maintain intimacy and connection amid the demands of daily life, work, and family responsibilities.
Factors such as stress, fatigue, and unresolved conflicts can erode intimacy over time, leaving couples feeling distant and disconnected from each other.
Without regular emotional and physical connection, marriages can become stagnant and devoid of passion, leading to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Fostering intimacy requires intentional effort, communication, and prioritization of the relationship to ensure its longevity and vitality.
6. Differences in Values and Priorities
Divergent values and priorities can strain marital relationships, leading to conflict and discord between partners.
Whether it’s differences in religion, politics, parenting styles, or life goals, conflicting values can create tension and disagreement in marriage.
Couples may find themselves at odds over important decisions and life choices, leading to resentment and frustration.
Negotiating and compromising on values requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand and accommodate each other’s perspectives.
Failure to address these differences can lead to ongoing conflict and dissatisfaction, ultimately jeopardizing the stability of the marriage.
7. Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, including marriage.
However, the way couples handle conflict can either strengthen or undermine the relationship.
Many marriages falter due to a lack of effective conflict resolution skills, leading to unresolved issues, resentment, and bitterness.
Couples may resort to unhealthy communication patterns, such as avoidance, criticism, or defensiveness, which only serve to escalate conflicts and erode trust.
Developing healthy conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening, empathy, and compromise, is essential for navigating disagreements constructively and preserving the integrity of the marriage.
8. External Stressors
External stressors, such as work-related pressures, family dynamics, and life transitions, can exert significant strain on marriages.
Demands from work and career obligations can detract from quality time spent together as a couple, leading to feelings of neglect and disconnection.
Family dynamics, including conflicts with in-laws or challenges with blended families, can create tension and discord within the marriage.
Moreover, life transitions such as relocation, illness, or the birth of a child can disrupt established routines and dynamics, placing additional stress on the relationship.
Couples must navigate these external stressors together, supporting each other through challenges and maintaining open communication to preserve the strength of their marriage.
Understanding these underlying “reasons” for divorce is essential for addressing marital challenges and fostering healthier, more resilient relationships. Couples must prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and active engagement in their relationship to navigate difficulties and strengthen their marital bond.
By investing in their relationship and addressing underlying issues proactively, couples can build marriages that withstand the test of time and adversity, ultimately leading to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in their shared journey together.
